Breaking Down the Mystery
Deep Thought: Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself. Mankind. Basically, it’s made up of two separate words - “mank” and “ind.” What do these words mean? It’s a mystery, and that’s why so is mankind.
Another mystery to me is how people just quote statistics without any explanation. I just read yet another post where a pastor quotes that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. The “50% divorce rate” gets quoted a lot because it is sensational and shocking. Fortunately, it’s not really true unless you meet very specific criteria. According to the annual “State of Our Unions” marriage study, here are some of the factors that decrease your risk of divorce within the first 10 years of marriage.
- Annual income: If you make more than $50,000 per year, your odds of divorce are 30% lower than those making less than $25,000 a year.
- Waiting for marriage: If you wait until you’re 25 years old to marry, your odds of divorcing are 24% less than someone who marries at 18 or under.
- Waiting for children: If you wait until you are married for at least 7 months before having kids, your odds of divorce decrease 24% versus a couple having a child before marriage.
- Family history: If your parents are married, you’re 14% more likely to stay married than if your parents had divorced.
- Religion: If you practice a faith, you’re 14% more likely to stay married than if you don’t.
- Education: If you attend college, even for a day, your odds of divorce decrease 13% as opposed to a high school dropout.
This study summarizes all of these statistics pretty well by saying: “If you are a reasonably well-educated person with a decent income, come from an intact family, are religious, and marry after age 25, without having a baby first, your chances of divorce are very low indeed.” Even if you just meet a few of the criteria, your odds of divorce are still a lot lower than the nationally advertised 50% rate - but you never hear that, because it doesn’t sell as many newspapers or get as many people to your marriage series.
It is a mystery why pastors don’t give the full statistic. Maybe if we break that word down - “pa” and “stors.” No one knows what they mean, either. So I guess pastors will remain a mystery.
February 3rd, 2009 at 10:20 am
I have read that that living together causes the rate to go up to 80 percent.
February 3rd, 2009 at 10:30 am
Matt, I know that that stat is true but amazingly enough, this study didn’t give that stat. I have some ideas on why that is true. I think that women are willing to do things for the sake of the relationship, like go to guy type movies, etc. I think a factor that happens when a couple lives together is the woman puts up with some things in the co-habitation for the sake of the relationship. Some behavior she puts up with is because she does not have the security that a ring brings to expect more from her partner. Once the ring comes, she no longer tolerates certain behavior because she is expecting her partner now to act like a husband.
Meanwhile from the man’s point of view; he thinks marriage will be just like living together and when it isn’t, it creates conflict that often times ends in divorce with him saying, “you changed” and her saying “he never changed, even after we got married.”
February 4th, 2009 at 12:10 am
I spent 7 years in college to get my associates degree. My marriage must be rock solid.
February 4th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
Eric,
Remember your first wedding ceremony 15 years ago tommorrow? What a blessing to have a youth pastor that taught us that waiting til marriage would save us a world of trouble. Thanks!
Love ya,
Phil & Alane
February 4th, 2009 at 10:44 pm
Oh yeah, I remember your wedding, my first. I am equally impressed that you read my blog.
February 18th, 2009 at 8:20 am
I’m late in reading your blog, but I have to say that you never cease to amaze me! Great thoughts. Here’s one more that we learned in marriage counseling, if couples pray together, the chances they will divorce are 1000 to 1. So we should add praying together to all your other stats. If you have some college education, make more than 50k a year, have faith, wait to get married till after age 25, don’t have a baby till after you’re married, and pray with your spouse, the chances you’ll get divorces are extremely low!
February 18th, 2009 at 8:51 am
Suzette, that is a great stat as well. Also, thanks for the encouragement about my blog. I do not blog enough and get a lot of grief from my staff for it but it is so hard for me to find the time.
February 24th, 2009 at 9:05 pm
Nicely done! Thanks for giving some alternative thinking on the subject. You are still a rock star.
February 25th, 2009 at 7:07 am
Yeah! “…to hell with the devil!”
February 26th, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Just another reason why I love and respect you! You speak the truth….in love. I am blessed that the Lord has called me to unite with your vision and your family.
Thank you for being a good shephard!