The Head Honcho with Deer Horns
Deep Thought: When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns.
People make a big deal about what you call things. Okay, so it wasn’t a human skull, it was a deer skull. Same thing, right? Nope. Well, I am making a big deal about what I am called.
The other day, Sam and I were praying and we started asking ourselves some questions. And to our surprise, we started answering back. One of the things we asked is if we are not a traditional church, why do we use traditional terms for many of our elements? For instance, why do we call it the church office and why am I the senior pastor or lead pastor?
So, we changed some things. I am no longer the lead pastor, but instead I am the Head Honcho pastor. We chose that over the Big Cheese Pastor, the Lead Dog Pastor, and the Buck Stops Here Pastor. And from now on, our offices are no longer known as the offices. The offices of Shoreline are now to be referred to Shoreline’s Creative Laboratories or the Lab for short. Coming in quite close in the running were the Lair, Shoreline HQ, and the Batcave.
To answer your next question, no, Pastor Dani was not involved in this. We had to wait until he was on vacation. It’s funny, because I used to have to wait until my pastor was on vacation to make decisions like this when I was a youth pastor.
Well, I need to get back to the Lab and get busy studying my schematic (the Bible).
Head Honcho Pastor,
Eric
August 13th, 2009 at 11:12 am
HAhahahahaha! I was just wondering “Now where was Dani when this discussion was taking place?” only to arrive at the paragraph explaining the absence of common sense and logic.
August 13th, 2009 at 11:45 am
So what would that make Sam? The Trusty Sidekick? The Foreman? The Minion?
August 13th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
Actually Leah, I was thinking the same thing. I think we should have names for the other positions. So I am opening it up for suggestions. I think minion would be good. How does this sound, “Sam Blowes, tech minion”?
Tell me what you think.
August 13th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
I actually think this would be the time that Dani’s input would be most valuable! He is very creative and actually pretty funny when it comes to intelligent ramblings. It’s the rebellious stuff he’s not so good at!
August 13th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
Yeah, Darlene, I almost didn’t approve your comment. I think is was a backhanded compliment which, don’t get me wrong, is a lot better than the back hands you normally give me.
August 13th, 2009 at 2:59 pm
These comments are almost as funny as the post! I think my title should be Maven Extraordinaire (or however it should be spelled), rather than simply Life Group Coordinator. Darlene’s title could be Hawt Mama.
August 13th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
Sam = assistant to the Head Honcho Pastor
August 14th, 2009 at 9:58 am
“Tech Minion” works…….it’s moderately better than “Lab Rat,” which came in at a close second.
And Lori, I think “Maven Extraordinaire” is perfect…..however, you should spice it up with some hot accents; “Maven Extraordinairé”
It looks so much cooler in fake-french.
August 17th, 2009 at 9:18 pm
That should be a colon, not a semicolon, after “accents.” How about some real-English, hmmm?
August 18th, 2009 at 7:45 am
I have come up with “Pastor of Tech, Media & Fonts” for myself. All in favor say ‘aye’. Aye.
August 18th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Wow - I don’t know; I think the word “Pastor” is stretching it just a bit. I mean, I know that’s what they CALL you, but you didn’t think they really MEANT it, did you? Awww…….
August 18th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
Wow, Kim that is sarcastic and mean. Do you want a job?
August 18th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
A job? You mean where people are professional and work gets done? I’ve been to the office - I mean, The Lab - and I didn’t see that going on anywhere…….except maybe in Dani’s office.
August 19th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
Kim, that is what makes this a great place to “work.” Again your sarcasm would make you a perfect employee here. And as much as we don’t work, we need someone we can guilt into staying late and getting the job done. And with your insecurities and dysfunctions, you would be perfect for the job so that Sam and I can continue to play. You seem like the person that would put in 60 hours a week and then blame yourself that you didn’t do more. I need someone like that.
August 19th, 2009 at 3:18 pm
Hmm, yes, well, I believe you are referring to the Old Kim. The New Kim came in this morning at 8:50. It is now 5:07 and she is heading out. Oh, and she left for lunch today, too, and was gone the whole time. And, as Pastor Dan has taught us all, she would be diligent about subscribing to the vision of the leadership. Since it sounds as though this leadership would be leading her to linger over coffee, have breakfast meetings, hang out at The Lab discussing new titles for herself, then head to the local watering hole for “church,” I’m not sure that your vision of a 60-hour week would actually yield the type of results you seem to be expecting.
I did hear someone refer to the office as “the secretarial pool” so I’ll look around tomorrow and see if I can find a girl from Mad Men and send her your way.
August 24th, 2009 at 7:05 am
Kim, Pick me, Pick Me!!!